Bipolar is a lot of nasty things. It is a greedy, little bastard. It wants to control your brain and part of the process to conquer your brain is filling your head with racing thoughts. Big, expansive, racing thoughts. A scrambled up mess. Having racing thoughts is much different from having a lot on your mind because you “have a lot on your plate”. I have to remember to get the ingredients for the church potluck when I go to the grocery. I can’t believe that Bill and Betty are divorcing after all these years. Did I set the TV to record American Idol? Johnny’s dentist appointment is Tuesday, I am sure he will need braces. I almost forgot that Little Katie needs to sell 50 more boxes of Girl Scout cookies to meet her goal. How will I ever get this done? I think the “normal” people have some type of organization to their thoughts no matter how overwhelming their lives are.
Manic thoughts can be the same content but they are hard to organize and summarize because they are bigger and faster. It’s like trying to sweep up sand…on the beach…in a hurricane.
I have to pee. I have to remember to get the ingredients for the potluck when I go to the grocery. That towel rack is crooked. I can’t believe that Bill and Betty are divorcing after all these years. Maybe I don’t have to. It will have to be a casserole. Did I set the TV to record American Idol? Johnny’s dentist appointment is Tuesday, I am sure he will need braces. He was probably cheating. I almost forgot that Little Katie needs to sell 50 more boxes of Girl Scout cookies to meet her goal. That kid on the AT&T commercial is so cute, I just want to put her in my pocket. Those judges are stupid. I should paint the bathroom pink. I need potatoes. Did I pee yet? I can probably lay new tile by myself. What were those cookies we had in elementary school made with? What was that noise? How much are braces? Did I pay the cable bill? And laundry detergent. Like you really like it, you want more, you want more…just cracks me up! They should put me on there. Was that the phone? It can’t be that hard. Am I still trying to pee? She could do better anyway. Those cookies were pink. I need to paint my toenails. Probably a million dollars, his grill is so jacked up. Jello, I think. Am I still sitting here? Why the hell do I have to sell the cookies? Never fails, damn phone rings every time I go to the bathroom. Damn, that picture is crooked too. Did we have an earthquake? Am I going to be getting a freakin’ badge for this shit? What if I am peeing and we have an earthquake? I bet it’s on Pinterest. Shut up, brain! I just need to pee!
Yes, I literally have to tell my brain to shut the hell up so that I can do something as simple as pee.