Avery picked these flowers today, "Look what I got you, Mama". On a regular day I would have said the same thing, "Thank you baby, they are beautiful". But today I look at them with a different perspective. Life is short and you have to appreciate the little things because life is mostly made up of the little things. We cannot determine our quantity of life but we can control the quality.
You see, I lost a friend today to cancer. While he was not my best friend or closest confidant, nor did we share every detail of our daily lives and struggles for the past twenty some odd years, he was dynamic and (more than I have realized) had a profound effect on the way I look and react to people and situations over the past few years. I used to live my life worrying about what other people thought of me. Years ago, when I was at my heaviest weight, I would skip going out to dinner because I thought other patrons might be thinking that fat girl does not need to be eating that burger or I would not go near the dance floor in fear that someone was belittling me with their eyes. I no longer rent space in my head and the sassy way he lived his life can be a credit to that.
I went to high school with Monte where we shared one class. He was outrageous and outlandish and all out hilarious. He caused a ruckus almost every day and created some of my fondest high school memories. I reconnected with him on facebook several years ago. Before the sickness. He was just as hilarious as I had remembered. I came to count on his witty banter when I was having a down day.
It is so sad that this world has to lose such a sparkling personality so young. Besides the memories of his brazen, silly ass I will try to take from his passing that life is not certain and I should remember to make each day important and things that seem trivial like those little weeds are really a grand thing.
Sleep with the angels Tay.
