Saturday, March 26, 2011
B*tch is Crazy
I feel like my body outsmarts science. I don't have much faith in doctors so when my PCP gave me normal results excluding my cholesterol I needed a second opinion. Surely, something is going on that they just haven't figured out yet. Most likely something I am going to have to figure out on my own as usual. I made an appointment with another doctor so I could show him my labs. He took an extensive history and looked perplexed up until the point when he asked me about a box I had checked: Anxiety/Depression. "Well, I have Bipolar but it was not named specifically on the form". Then the mood of the conversation turned along with his explanation of all of my symptoms. He thinks that all of my bodily woes are directly related to my Bipolar. I am depressed. Yet, I don't feel depressed. I am not crying uncontrollably. The world is not a black hole just waiting to suck me up. I just don't have any energy to do anything. That doesn't mean the intentions are not there. I have grand ideas. I just can't execute them. I was offended that he would even suggest such a theory. My hair is falling out because I am depressed? My heart beats so hard that I can hear it reverberating in my head because I am depressed? Does that even make sense to you? He explains that the lack of energy and weight gain are a product of depression and all of the other symptoms are the result of the weight gain; the trickle down effect. The irregular heart beating...panic attacks. I tell him I am not panicked and he explains that a panic attack comes on with no warning or trigger. That would make sense except for my heart starts pounding a short while after I eat so does that not mean anything? Just to be safe, I get to pick up a holter monitor on Monday for a 24 hour stint. I am thinking the printout will read something like this...
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My ex wife had "Bitch is crazy" all over hers whenever she went in.
ReplyDeleteBut she was a different crazy. You're at least tolerable. :)
Hope things go well. At least, as well as they can go.
My husband always got that whenever he went in for something. Finally after they decided he was diabetic from one reading, he went somewhere else. It was an anomaly.
ReplyDeleteTurns out though that he had a almost non-working gallbladder and the previous doctor completely missed it when he went in for that pain years ago.
Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteLove your chart! I resemble that sometimes. Hang in there. I think you are super great and soon the sun will shine and make us all warm and fuzzy inside. Sometimes I think the weather plays our moods, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd...my middle name is BITCH IZ CRAZY...LOL
Something to consider is your thyroid can be low normal and that can affect everything. It made me think of it when you talked about your hair. Mine was normal, but in the low end of the spectrum, and they put me on synthroid and it stopped. There are lots of studies out there that correlate they thyroid with bipolar symptoms. Just something to think about.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what I think it is but try getting a doctor to listen to me. It's so frustrating.
ReplyDeleteDoctors don't listen for shit! They PRETEND to give a hot damn, but they really don't! They get paid period. I can't stand doctors.
ReplyDeleteI loved your printout. I'm glad that I have a really good relationship with my diabetes doctor. I don't know what I would do without her.
ReplyDeleteAlways listen to your body. You are the expert and know better than anyone else when something isn't right. I once threatened a doctor for not taking a problem I was having seriously and I'm so glad I did. It turned out that I needed an operation. Thank goodness I didn't wait for the problem to get worse. Good luck sweetie.
ReplyDeleteDonda, I know this is suppose to be a serious post, but you always make me laugh. That chart is funny.
ReplyDeleteThere is a state of bipolar that is called 'mixed state.' I am not saying this is what you have, but it something I experience lately. It is like being slightly depressed, (low energy and such) and having high anxiety like a mania but without all the hoopla. I don't know if this is what you are experiencing or not, but I had never heard of it until recently when someone told me about it and I realized that was what I was experiencing. I don't know much about it, other than how it feels. I thought I would pass on the info to you because it helped me out tremendously when someone told me about it.
Hope you feel better real soon.
I"m so sorry you're going through that...bottom line--you know your body...if something doesn't feel right to you-be proactive...find a new doctor...don't stop until you get answers.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say though...your sense of humor though all of this is priceless! Smooches!
Ha - I totally feel you on this. My cholesterol is out of whack, too. It's apparently because of the birth control I have to use to control my lung condition that causes my lungs to collapse without warning. The same way that my antidepressants cause my IBS that makes me feel like death and saps all my energy. Every doctor just blames a condition that's not under his jurisdiction so he doesn't have to actually do anything about it. Such a pain in the ass...
ReplyDelete(PS - I'm blogging again. :) Yay!)
you insomniac? i'm a bit bi and when a manic period occurs and i can't sleep it really fucks me up - including really strong heartbeat, fast heartrate, high BP, and shaking. as well as feeling like i'm going insane.
ReplyDeletei really really know that for me it's the lack of sleep - could it be that for you too, or do you sleep ok?
I have the same symptoms, and I get SO angry when they blame it all on depression. Like it's mentioned in other responses, all they want to do is treat the so-called depression with medications that affect the bowel, sleep, weight, etc. Frankly, I'm more depressed about those things than before taking the stuff. :/ I'm about to self-treat, thinking along the lines of more potassium (I get muscle cramps - a lot), magnesium, calcium, along w/B, C and D vitamins; monitoring sodium in my diet and increasing water intake. An electrolyte imbalance can send the same signals as an thyroid imbalance - loss of hair, weight gain/loss, IBS, sleep disturbances, hyperflexia, etc. that all spell 'depression' to a doctor who doesn't have the time nor want to look any further. You can request tests for vitamin/mineral imbalances, and if you're doctor isn't a complete douchenozzle they'll acquiesce. Also, even though your fasting blood sugar might test out ok, you may want to request a glucose tolerance test as well. I have low blood sugar which was only determined by the long test; the heart racing, sweaty palms thing happens to me after I eat simple carbs/sugar, sometimes no matter how much, so I try to avoid it and I'm able to control those symptoms a bit better. Low blood sugar is often a precursor to type 2 diabetes so it's a good idea to keep that in check. Good luck. I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteThanks Greta, I didn't know that about the electrolytes. You might be onto something. I did get an appt finally with a pdoc so I will blog about that soon...when I can get my thoughts together.
ReplyDelete