I still have no words...but I have photos.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Emily's Birthday and Writer's Block?
Lots of boring today and I have lost my lyrical mojo. I am having a hard time finding words lately. I know, it's a Christmas miracle when I am at a loss for words. Today is Emily's birthday she is nine. She had her party yesterday and they all had a good time.
I have been obsessed with trying to make the girls these fancy lunches I have seen online lately. I have mentioned, I am a fabulous cook but I am lacking in the presentation. However, I think they are going to be excited when they open their lunch boxes tomorrow.
I have been obsessed with trying to make the girls these fancy lunches I have seen online lately. I have mentioned, I am a fabulous cook but I am lacking in the presentation. However, I think they are going to be excited when they open their lunch boxes tomorrow.
Why's Lorettie get somethin' extree for?
1. Thank the person who gave this award to you.
2. Copy the award and put it on my blog.
3. List three things you love about yourself.
4. Post a picture I love.
A BIG OL' FATTY THANK YOU to Christy at I'm Just Sayin'. Muah! Much love to ya honey :) If you don't know her you must go see her!
3 things....
My mad cooking skills.
My ankles are hot.
My ability to turn a cartwheel at 37.
 |
| Haylee drew this picture for me and during a wine fest Mandi and I wrote the poem. |
5 blogs that definitely have a little somethin' extra...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Think Of Me Thursday and Facebook
Hosted by Mrs. Mama Drama and Belly Charms
Howsabout some more facebook fun? Honestly, I am hopped up on Robitussin and my brain is mush.
Donda~ Are you effin' kiddin' me??? Jersey Shore's "The Situation" gets paid 400K to endorse vodka??? I endorse vodka every muthafreakin' weekend and you don't see my a$$ gettin' paid!!!
Howsabout some more facebook fun? Honestly, I am hopped up on Robitussin and my brain is mush.
Donda~ Are you effin' kiddin' me??? Jersey Shore's "The Situation" gets paid 400K to endorse vodka??? I endorse vodka every muthafreakin' weekend and you don't see my a$$ gettin' paid!!!
Donda~Since GRODY caught on a little bit...let's see if I can make this one hip "Redondulous" meaning....ridiculous but in an EXTREME Donda kinda way.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Strange Folks In Town
The good news is, my mood has improved drastically overnight. I don't feel so hopeless and empty. The bad news is, I think I am getting a head cold or some kind of funky virus. I have been coughing, scratchy throat and freezing then burning up.
I went to the Cancer Center today with Mandi so she could get a mammogram. Everything came back normal despite the "finger" that she says she feels in her breast. It is always a real treat to travel through downtown. That is where you see all sorts of anomalies. Like this guy....
OK, the picture is not great with the crappy ass cell phone camera but you can see ol' boy has on bright green tennis shoes and whatever the hell that ensemble is topped off with a sombrero. I would like to assume he didn't pay his electric bill and dressed in the dark. However, I do believe this was a conscious decision. I wonder how he came to have these items in his possession to begin with and what his thought process was when he threw them together.
Next, I saw a man standing outside of his lawn care truck wielding a machete. Being in a residential area, I don't know what tobacco field he was heading to. It's way too far away for Halloween. This is a head scratcher but I will probably not go out on the porch alone after dark just in case someone escaped from the looney hospital.
And the best, some dumbass got pulled over in the mall parking lot and we got a glance of the cop giving the guy a sobriety test. Two in the afternoon, mind you. And. In a mall parking lot? Did he jump a speed bump Dukes of Hazard style? I mean, how effin' stupid are you to get pulled over by a cop (not mall security who is required to pretend to be doing something productive) in a freakin' mall parking lot. Mandi suggested that the Tumbleweed in the mall sells Margaritas. I guess so. But then we decided that even if the dude had three or four he would have been bombarded by the little Asian chick passing out free samples at the Oriental Express. You can't hide from that bitch. She will chase your ass around the food court. "You try the bourbon chicken. "You taste, you like". Anywho, all that rice would soak up the alcohol. What a buzzkill!
I went to the Cancer Center today with Mandi so she could get a mammogram. Everything came back normal despite the "finger" that she says she feels in her breast. It is always a real treat to travel through downtown. That is where you see all sorts of anomalies. Like this guy....
Next, I saw a man standing outside of his lawn care truck wielding a machete. Being in a residential area, I don't know what tobacco field he was heading to. It's way too far away for Halloween. This is a head scratcher but I will probably not go out on the porch alone after dark just in case someone escaped from the looney hospital.
And the best, some dumbass got pulled over in the mall parking lot and we got a glance of the cop giving the guy a sobriety test. Two in the afternoon, mind you. And. In a mall parking lot? Did he jump a speed bump Dukes of Hazard style? I mean, how effin' stupid are you to get pulled over by a cop (not mall security who is required to pretend to be doing something productive) in a freakin' mall parking lot. Mandi suggested that the Tumbleweed in the mall sells Margaritas. I guess so. But then we decided that even if the dude had three or four he would have been bombarded by the little Asian chick passing out free samples at the Oriental Express. You can't hide from that bitch. She will chase your ass around the food court. "You try the bourbon chicken. "You taste, you like". Anywho, all that rice would soak up the alcohol. What a buzzkill!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Maybe UP With A Side Of Controversy
I have successfully not broke down into tears in over three hours. I don't want to jinx myself but I had to get this down in writing to remind myself the beast is only temporary. I am not sure what sparked the mood swing but it is either one of two things.
I passed out on the couch somewhere around 2ish today and slept for almost three hours. I felt a tad bit better when I woke up but I still felt like my brain was in a stall patten. BUT I didn't feel weepy or empty. When I go into a depressive episode, I wake up with it...with no warning. And, I will usually just wake up out of it the same way.
OR
I had to call the bank today to figure out what this double charge was on the account. At 6ish I decided to go back and look to see if bankchick reversed the charge yet and when I looked there was a surprising deposit. A $75.00 deposit from the child support division. HOLY EFFIN' CRAP! They finally tracked his sneaky ass down! If you don't know the whole story it goes something like this:
Alex was born in 1995, Tommy and I separated in 1998. I finally got a divorce in 2002 because the peckersnot kept running from me, refusing to get served because he knew that a support order would soon follow. Also, he decided it would be a supergenius move to get remarried in 2000 so I guess he didn't want that skeleton uncovered. He never wanted visitation. EVER. Until he was served with a court order saying he had to pay X amount. After the original support order was put into place he paid for a while and then went MIA for several years. I found him again and served him with contempt of court papers and this time he lawyered up and was like fuck you, if I am going to pay for a Big Mac then I am going to get a Big Mac. In 2005, he filed a counter motion in court to seek visitation. Beau and I decided this would not be in the best interest of the child since Tommy is a fucking moron and lacks all morals. We offered him an out. Sign over your rights and your child support stops TODAY. Beau will gladly adopt this boy and call him son. He happily proceeded with that deal. Well, why wouldn't he, when he got tired of a car he just stopped paying and let it go back to the dealership. This was no different. The thing is he had incurred over the past three years of being a douchity-douchebag an arrearage of about ten grand. We had settled on the amount that he would be required to pay back and I started to receive payments from him...for a while. In his total lack of common sense or fundamental math skills he obviously didn't realize the gravity of this phrase "10% interest on the decreasing balance". The amount he owes will always cap at the original amount of the order but when he stops paying over time the interest begins to accrue. So basically, his dumbass is right back where it started.
Now, your saying 75 bones, I can piss that away on booze and Happy Meals. Well, yeah, duh! But it's the principal of the thing!
So, you see my excitement. I have said before that I usually try to create some kind of adrenaline rush in an attempt to "flip my mood". So, if this flip is real and not just a momentary flash of an impending mixed episode then I am doubly excited that I didn't have to anything to provoke it besides entering my password. I am super stoked that I didn't have to go play chicken in traffic as an alternative medicine!
The fact that the word "excited" has reentered my vocabulary is also a good sign. Even if it is just for tonight, I will take it.
I passed out on the couch somewhere around 2ish today and slept for almost three hours. I felt a tad bit better when I woke up but I still felt like my brain was in a stall patten. BUT I didn't feel weepy or empty. When I go into a depressive episode, I wake up with it...with no warning. And, I will usually just wake up out of it the same way.
OR
I had to call the bank today to figure out what this double charge was on the account. At 6ish I decided to go back and look to see if bankchick reversed the charge yet and when I looked there was a surprising deposit. A $75.00 deposit from the child support division. HOLY EFFIN' CRAP! They finally tracked his sneaky ass down! If you don't know the whole story it goes something like this:
Alex was born in 1995, Tommy and I separated in 1998. I finally got a divorce in 2002 because the peckersnot kept running from me, refusing to get served because he knew that a support order would soon follow. Also, he decided it would be a supergenius move to get remarried in 2000 so I guess he didn't want that skeleton uncovered. He never wanted visitation. EVER. Until he was served with a court order saying he had to pay X amount. After the original support order was put into place he paid for a while and then went MIA for several years. I found him again and served him with contempt of court papers and this time he lawyered up and was like fuck you, if I am going to pay for a Big Mac then I am going to get a Big Mac. In 2005, he filed a counter motion in court to seek visitation. Beau and I decided this would not be in the best interest of the child since Tommy is a fucking moron and lacks all morals. We offered him an out. Sign over your rights and your child support stops TODAY. Beau will gladly adopt this boy and call him son. He happily proceeded with that deal. Well, why wouldn't he, when he got tired of a car he just stopped paying and let it go back to the dealership. This was no different. The thing is he had incurred over the past three years of being a douchity-douchebag an arrearage of about ten grand. We had settled on the amount that he would be required to pay back and I started to receive payments from him...for a while. In his total lack of common sense or fundamental math skills he obviously didn't realize the gravity of this phrase "10% interest on the decreasing balance". The amount he owes will always cap at the original amount of the order but when he stops paying over time the interest begins to accrue. So basically, his dumbass is right back where it started.
Now, your saying 75 bones, I can piss that away on booze and Happy Meals. Well, yeah, duh! But it's the principal of the thing!
So, you see my excitement. I have said before that I usually try to create some kind of adrenaline rush in an attempt to "flip my mood". So, if this flip is real and not just a momentary flash of an impending mixed episode then I am doubly excited that I didn't have to anything to provoke it besides entering my password. I am super stoked that I didn't have to go play chicken in traffic as an alternative medicine!
The fact that the word "excited" has reentered my vocabulary is also a good sign. Even if it is just for tonight, I will take it.
Technical Difficulties
I am currently experiencing technical difficulties. I have tried to write this post three times already. Nothing is coming out right. So we can add the fact that I cannot properly convey my feelings to the long list of things that are pissing me off lately. The sad thing is the agitation will usually send me darting up instead of down. I have tried all of the usual things that I have learned will halt a depression and imminent withdrawal and send me whirling the opposite direction. To no avail.
I have been sleeping more lately and wishing. Wishing my life away. Wishing this would hurry up and run it's course. I feel like I am just going through the motions. Trying hard to be inconspicuous. I wonder if they have noticed that I have stopped laughing? I wonder if they realize I am only hearing half of what they say and caring even less. Do they realize that my responses are limited to as few words as possible? I have worked so hard to keep myself out of a depression so I didn't have to put them through it again. I am still trying but with each passing day I become a little less interested in anything and everything around me.
I have been sleeping more lately and wishing. Wishing my life away. Wishing this would hurry up and run it's course. I feel like I am just going through the motions. Trying hard to be inconspicuous. I wonder if they have noticed that I have stopped laughing? I wonder if they realize I am only hearing half of what they say and caring even less. Do they realize that my responses are limited to as few words as possible? I have worked so hard to keep myself out of a depression so I didn't have to put them through it again. I am still trying but with each passing day I become a little less interested in anything and everything around me.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I Love You, I Hate You
Dear Bipolar Disorder,
I love you but I hate you.
I hate days like today. I feel like my personality has been sucked out of my body. I do not like it when Bipolar rapes me of my character. I can't read, I can't write, I can't sit still but I can't get anything done. My focus is nil and my enthusiasm is waning. I just feel like climbing into myself until this passes. And as sure as it came, it will leave. But when? You would think the worst part of Bipolar would be a particular symptom. You would be wrong. It is the unpredictability. Just yesterday, I felt like my "regular" self. Today, I just don't know. Mandi called to see if I wanted to go to the Sugarland concert tonight because someone backed out last minute and I declined. I am not really a concert person but Sugarland would probably be a good one to go see as far as country goes. Maybe next time.
I have noticed that I have been worrying more lately than normal. Not normal worry, like the gas bill is due again. More like catastrophic thinking and fear-filled thoughts. Worry on steroids. Taking an hour to fall asleep even after taking my meds because I keep hearing noises outside my window. Common sense tells me that it is just the neighbor's dog barking because he saw a rabbit hopping past the kennel. But the fear is stronger than the logic. Thinking and rethinking the fire escape plan. Thinking that Danielle was ran over on the Outer Loop because she has not returned my text. Horrific thoughts that are invading my brain.
So brain, can we just be done with this already?
I hate days like today. I feel like my personality has been sucked out of my body. I do not like it when Bipolar rapes me of my character. I can't read, I can't write, I can't sit still but I can't get anything done. My focus is nil and my enthusiasm is waning. I just feel like climbing into myself until this passes. And as sure as it came, it will leave. But when? You would think the worst part of Bipolar would be a particular symptom. You would be wrong. It is the unpredictability. Just yesterday, I felt like my "regular" self. Today, I just don't know. Mandi called to see if I wanted to go to the Sugarland concert tonight because someone backed out last minute and I declined. I am not really a concert person but Sugarland would probably be a good one to go see as far as country goes. Maybe next time.
I have noticed that I have been worrying more lately than normal. Not normal worry, like the gas bill is due again. More like catastrophic thinking and fear-filled thoughts. Worry on steroids. Taking an hour to fall asleep even after taking my meds because I keep hearing noises outside my window. Common sense tells me that it is just the neighbor's dog barking because he saw a rabbit hopping past the kennel. But the fear is stronger than the logic. Thinking and rethinking the fire escape plan. Thinking that Danielle was ran over on the Outer Loop because she has not returned my text. Horrific thoughts that are invading my brain.
So brain, can we just be done with this already?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
From This Point Forward
From this point forward, "Your sleepin' on the fuckin' couch" will be replaced with "You betta go tell your Tuggie that shit"!
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Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Love Is Not Crap
Recently, Beau, Buffy and I were reminiscing about our childhoods. We spoke of the different kind of hardships we faced growing up with our "different type" of parents. We live what we learn. This theory does not just apply to bad raising. The way my Mom showed love was by doing things for us. She would sing us songs, read stories and serve up our dinner. Their Mom liked to buy them things. I started to explain this book and the different types of love languages. People show love the way they want to receive it. I went on to explain that Beau buys me gifts. It can be anything from an $80.00 bouquet of roses to a big fake turd(Dear Lord, yes he did and I am guessing he did it because I was born in Texas because I know he knows I damn sure don't like bullshit) in a box labeled "Texas Bullshit". That is not my way. Although, that is not my way, it is not that I am ungrateful. Of course I like presents, everyone likes presents! But nothing makes me happier than when Beau cleans out my car, runs to the store for me or washes the kids. Up until a year ago when I started figuring all this stuff out, I really never paid attention to that before. I also didn't realize that it meant next to nothing that I washed his underdraws, or scooped the mashed potatoes onto his plate. All that time, I thought I was doing this great thing for him and he should know that these things I do are not out of obligation but out of love.
I have always been a very good judge of character. In the past year or two, I have been really trying to learn more about myself and in doing so I have learned about other people. Things that people in my life have done that once confused me, I now see with a new clarity. It is easier to understand someone's actions when you understand them and where they came from. It can provide relief if you know that something someone did is not a personal attack on you but rather a product of their raising. I am not saying that it excuses the bad behavior or minimizes the good behavior. It just gives you the opportunity for an "Aha" moment.
*This is not a product review and I have not even read the book but I get the gist of it. Perhaps, I should buy it for Beau where he will in turn read it to me. Love all around.
I have always been a very good judge of character. In the past year or two, I have been really trying to learn more about myself and in doing so I have learned about other people. Things that people in my life have done that once confused me, I now see with a new clarity. It is easier to understand someone's actions when you understand them and where they came from. It can provide relief if you know that something someone did is not a personal attack on you but rather a product of their raising. I am not saying that it excuses the bad behavior or minimizes the good behavior. It just gives you the opportunity for an "Aha" moment.
*This is not a product review and I have not even read the book but I get the gist of it. Perhaps, I should buy it for Beau where he will in turn read it to me. Love all around.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Awards and Doable B*tches
HOLY MOLY!! I just got four awards at the same time. I haven't had four of anything at the same time since my Anniversary and I have never got four from a girl before! Kim at
passed these along to me and I am super excited! You have to go check her out...she is all kinds of awesome!
I am supposed to tell seven things about myself and then share the love.
Hmmm...seven things about me?
1. I have lived in 19 different places since I left home when I was 18.
2. I love to screw with telemarketers, I have told them that I was a trick ho and I ran off with help, that I was incarcerated, that my Doctor says I can't have a conversation with them because I haven't taken my meds. I get my kicks by saying, "No habla Ingles" to a Spanish speaking rep.
3. I got an A in psychology and I slept more than 80% of the class.
4. I love practical jokes, even when I am the butt of them.
5. I am a male chauvinist pig.
6. Based on my name and nothing else, people assume I am a black girl married to a Mexican. Boy are they surprised to learn that I am a pasty-white girl!
7. I have been known to drunk dial my friends in an Asian voice demanding my delivery of fifty egg rolls. DO NOT give me have your phone number.
Lots of doable *bitches....
Sunday, August 15, 2010
But What Does It Say About The Pygmies With No Tampons??
Because this is too hilarious not to pass along and I am sure at some point I will need a good giggle, I now have a permanent record. My friend had this posted on her facebook wall as a note. After you read this, feel free to enjoy the commentary that transpired in response to the article.
Why can't I own a Canadian
In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant
Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man,
and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room
here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
Author unknown
JN--I have one. Very sweet and smart.
Thursday at 11:08am · Like
SK-- What do you feed 'em?
Thursday at 11:34am · Like
MB--My daughter is dating one. I can send him over....
Thursday at 11:52am · Like
JN--corn nuts. And I keep them in the basement - he doesn't do well in this heat.
Thursday at 11:55am · Like
SK-- lmbo. Corn Nuts? I'd never have guessed. It is awful hot. I imagine he does well with scraping ice off your car and shoveling the snow in the winter? That would come in awful handy.
Thursday at 11:59am · Like
JN--Exactly. And he's a hoot on Boxing Day. Well worth the expense of the corn nuts.
Thursday at 12:06pm · Like
TG-- The bible also says, "love your neighbor as you love yourself" and "Let him among you who is without sin, cast the first stone". Yes, it's wrong, so is lying, stealing, cheating, adultery, fornication, idol worship, etc. but, we will be judged by God and Jesus for our own sins.
Thursday at 12:52pm · Like
SK--guess I won't order those corn nuts.
Thursday at 3:10pm · Like
JN--LMAO. I'm taking my chances.
Thursday at 3:38pm · Like
BC--When we were in Ottawa a couple of weeks ago, we picked up four for the price of one. They don't require much care and they are so obedient.
Thursday at 7:19pm · Like
SK--Wow, they sound better than Chia Pets.
Thursday at 7:35pm · Like
JG--I'd like to buy a vowel, please. O!
Friday at 10:52am · Like
RL-- Just read this, it's awesome....must share it!!!
Friday at 11:31am · Like
ME--How did I miss this? I must have been in the garden on the sabbath in my " you can suck it" t-shirt and spandex biker shorts. I was either weeding the carrots or watering the tomatoes when my sister's fiance stopped by and was all like "ya wanna do this" and I was all like, "ok but I'm PMSing". Long story short, he went and picked up Dani!
Friday at 5:30pm · Like ·
JN--Does your sister's fiance work for Porter Paints ;)
Friday at 5:45pm · Like
ME-- HAHAHAHAHAHA A HAHAHAHAHA
Friday at 5:46pm · Like
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