Monday, May 31, 2010
Ask Arlee
I have decided to bite the bullet and become a multi-blog blogger. I have always loved the "Dear Abby" type thing so I have opted to create my own. You can find my answers to any question over http://www.askarlee.blogspot.com. You should really check it out, become a follower, submit a question to askarlee@gmail.com and wait!
Duct Tape and Fatness
The poor plunge took a hit today. The first rip. Of course, just like every time something breaks Beau is not home. Luckily, it was toward the middle of the "handrail" so at least the water didn't go pouring out. I finally reach him on the phone after calling and calling with no answer. I find that a text that reads, "Jackass, answer your phone" always yields immediate results. He brings to the rescue a roll of black gorilla tape and a bottle of contact cement not knowing which would be the better remedy as the outer covering on the plunge is nylon not rubber. As soon as I saw that black duct tape I felt like my head was going to blow off! Could you get anymore ghetto-redneck? New plan. He cut a piece of the yellow fabric from the tubing that goes from the plunge to the blower. The patch matched perfectly and was airtight again. The problem. The piece of the tubing he cut off was fitted with a drawstring securing it to the blower. Simply tying a piece of string around the thing wasn't strong enough to hold the air flowing out. Yep, didn't really think that one through. The solution. You guessed it! The black duct tape. He wrapped the tape around it so many times you would swear he watched a how-to video on Dexter.com! I am guessing he really wanted to use that tape. So we get a pop-up thunderstorm and I run as fast as my legs will carry me to unplug that sucker and get it under cover and realize there is no unwrapping that tape job. I buried it under the tarp and prayed that we didn't get the three inches of standing rain that we had last week.
We cooked out again today with our neighbor friends. I just love the summer. The cook-outs and the socializing. I find the company and laughter keeps me from sinking down into a depression. What I don't love is that while I am scarfing down some fatty potato salad and chocolate cake I realize that my ass is steadily growing up my back. It is so hard to diet when food is an integral part of the entertainment. I have decided that I am going to, once again, try to get back on my weight loss thing. I can't continue to sit on the patio without people confusing the shelf on my ass for a piece of lawn furniture. No Dude! You can't just sit your Corona there! No, not even for a minute. Geeez!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
My First Sunday 160
Perusing the blog circuit I came across a word challenge of sorts over at http://petzoldspracticalprose.blogspot.com/ . And decided, hey I might be up for the task! So here is my first go at "Sunday 160".
Here are the rules....
The Sunday 160 only uses 160 characters (including spaces).
Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
Keep on schedule - post Sunday.
Let me know you have posted via a comment on my site.
Visit at least one other Sunday 160.
(What I couldn't find is the answer to is the 160 characters supposed to tell a story from beginning to end but I am just going to assume that is the goal)
Desperately longing, hopelessly searching
The anxiety of not knowing
When will I ever find you?
No trace
Reflecting reveals no answer
OMG Where the fuck are my keys?
Poolside Humor
The day started slow with more than an ounce of boredom. That yucky, empty feeling that you want to do something but you don't know what to do. TV doesn't calm it. Reading witty facebook statuses doesn't calm it. Getting up to clean the kitchen most certainly doesn't calm it. But I am happy to report that it did turn around.
Mandi cooked out and bought a new pool for the kids. One of those blow-up deals with a mediocre pump but adequate for the intended purpose of amusing the young'uns. The filling process was slow-going but that did not stop the girls from having hours of fun.
Our cousins from both sides of the family came over too, which is a total rare occurrence. I am pretty sure the last time I saw any one family member from both Mom's and Dad's side was at Dad's funeral. Sad huh? I am not going to be all Debbie Downer so back to the matter at hand. The hilarity was off the chain! I really need to get one of those ink pen surveillance cameras or even better, one of them cool ass beer holder hats equipped with the drinking straws and then have my brilliant husband rig a camera on that baby! Not only would I be stylish but I could capture all the funny moments that you are never prepared to record but always wished you had. Here's one of the funnies...well, it was funny at the time and it is still funny in my head but I am not sure how it is going to read to a person who does not know the personalities involved. I will try my best.
Big Alex is my cousin and Little Alex is my son for the purpose of this. And it is probably important to know that we are a whole family of redheads...Irish as they come! Me wants me gold.
Little Alex spits off the side of the deck (yeah, gross I know)
Big Alex says, "Dude that is nasty, you shouldn't be doing that".
LA-"Are you a girl or something?" (don't know what that has to do with the price of beans but I suspect that it stems from a rant I had a few weeks ago when a nasty hooker spit out of her car window going down the street, GRODY)
BA-"Dude, I got enough hair on my balls to weave an Indian rug!" (isn't that persian rug?)
Me-"Ummm Yeah, you might want to do a little manscaping or sumpin'"
Mandi and Brooke -laughing their asses off
Ohh Emm Gee, the hairy Irish balls!
BA-"Just call me Osama Mc Ladin"
and I sing "When Irish balls are smiling"...or is it eyes. I guess it doesn't matter when there is beer involved.
I sure hope to have another good day tomorrow. Cherish the good times because we know all too well they are only temporary.
Mandi cooked out and bought a new pool for the kids. One of those blow-up deals with a mediocre pump but adequate for the intended purpose of amusing the young'uns. The filling process was slow-going but that did not stop the girls from having hours of fun.
Our cousins from both sides of the family came over too, which is a total rare occurrence. I am pretty sure the last time I saw any one family member from both Mom's and Dad's side was at Dad's funeral. Sad huh? I am not going to be all Debbie Downer so back to the matter at hand. The hilarity was off the chain! I really need to get one of those ink pen surveillance cameras or even better, one of them cool ass beer holder hats equipped with the drinking straws and then have my brilliant husband rig a camera on that baby! Not only would I be stylish but I could capture all the funny moments that you are never prepared to record but always wished you had. Here's one of the funnies...well, it was funny at the time and it is still funny in my head but I am not sure how it is going to read to a person who does not know the personalities involved. I will try my best.
Big Alex is my cousin and Little Alex is my son for the purpose of this. And it is probably important to know that we are a whole family of redheads...Irish as they come! Me wants me gold.
Little Alex spits off the side of the deck (yeah, gross I know)
Big Alex says, "Dude that is nasty, you shouldn't be doing that".
LA-"Are you a girl or something?" (don't know what that has to do with the price of beans but I suspect that it stems from a rant I had a few weeks ago when a nasty hooker spit out of her car window going down the street, GRODY)
BA-"Dude, I got enough hair on my balls to weave an Indian rug!" (isn't that persian rug?)
Me-"Ummm Yeah, you might want to do a little manscaping or sumpin'"
Mandi and Brooke -laughing their asses off
Ohh Emm Gee, the hairy Irish balls!
BA-"Just call me Osama Mc Ladin"
and I sing "When Irish balls are smiling"...or is it eyes. I guess it doesn't matter when there is beer involved.
I sure hope to have another good day tomorrow. Cherish the good times because we know all too well they are only temporary.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Margaritaville and the Vodka Eyeball
Not a whole lot in the personal arena going on today. I worked on the dirty laundry initiative part of the day. Mandi and Josh came over for dinner. We had taco night. Josh brought all the fixin's for margaritas. I thought Mandi was joking when she chatted me on facebook today saying Josh wanted to take me to Margaritaville. Say what? I don't even drink tequila and screw you hooker, I know your plan. I ain't eatin' no daggone worm! He walked in with the biggest bag of ice ever. I have to assume that he was going to remove Mandi's kidney with a butter knife and pack her in the tub. We ate, the kids played, Josh swigged and Mandi eventually passed out on my couch, snoring like a rabid animal. I am glad to know I am such riveting company.
We had a crazy storm for like 10 minutes. The wind was blowing so hard while the rain was pouring in sheets. I couldn't see as far as across the street through it. It made the electric flicker and my new patio umbrella fell victim to the wind. Dani and her friend opened it the other day and I had completely forgot that it was left open. Suck.
I attempted to create an account on playlist.com only to find that Alex decided to open his own account with my email address over a year ago. I finally log onto the account after retrieving a new password to find my log on name is "Hannah has a sexy body". Seriously? And apparently, I like Lil' Wayne a real lot.
There might not be anything exciting going on in my life right now but I can always depend on the news to liven things up!
Gary Coleman, most famous for his role in "Different Strokes" died today. This was one of my favorite shows growing up and gets me thinking after the Bret Michaels medical tragedy....Dang! I am almost their age. I hate to think the clock is ticking but it is. So sad.
UofL has made the National news once again. Do you guys really need any more bad press? Just askin'. First it was the crooked eye/juicy lips non-sex sex thing, then Masiello/ticket scandal and now a player fighting over a hairbrush like a 9 year old girl! Geez Louise!
And this takes the cake!
Donda Eye like vodka but eye don't see this EVER happenin'! What a buncha nimrods. Who thought this mess up?
www.huffingtonpost.com
Vodka shots not infiltrating your system fast enough? There's a solution -- drink them through your eye.
.....and a final thought.
Mandi Hey...ya wanna cook out this weekend and put the big slide up and maybe pour some vodka in our eyes? It will make for a joyous night I say!!
So the plan for tomorrow: cookout, play in the water slide and maybe give Mandi a smackdown, put her back in her place!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
100 Things I Love
It seems I have picked up a few new people following my blog (which I am super excited about...it's like getting a secret Valentine) that I do not personally know. So I decided it would be appropriate to list some of my favorite things so you can get to know me a little better without sifting through a year's worth of entries just to find out #13. OK, let's be honest! You would only have to go back as far as a few days to figure that one out.
And in no particular order......
1. TV
2. my husband
3. chocolate
4. Avery's hair
5. DVR
6. 90 degree weather
7. songs that take me back
8. Snapped
9. painting the walls
10. brown
11. Queso Dip from El Nopal
12. euphoric episodes
13. wine
14. leftover Thanksgiving turkey w/Miracle Whip
15. the smell of the ocean
16. candles
17. my therapist
18. new clothes
19. lotion that smells good
20. newly pedicured piggies
21. Nancy Grace
22. Facebook
23. medical dramas
24. roller skating
25. a meticulously clean house
26. Mandi's witty rants
27. funny videos from Youtube
28. sitting on the front porch
29. good gossip
30. Bitchin'
31. rearranging the furniture
32. Reese's Cups
34. Blogging
35. the tabloids
36. diagnosing what ails you
37. using big words
38. gas station cappuccino
39. my neighbors
40. UK Wildcats
41. Ellen
42. reminiscing
43. the smell of a new baby's head
44. my Aunt Joyce's fudge
45. money
46. the news (local and national)
47. hot showers
48. enchiladas
49. my Mom
50. New View Bar
51. a good haircut
52. thinking I can sing Karaoke
53. looking at pictures
54. coffee
55. making things with the hot glue gun
56. an empty laundry basket
57. reading people's blogs
58. winning plants at church picnics
59. hatin' on SyFy
60. Avery's vocabulary
61. Gen X radio
62. tweezers
63. tulips
64. Girl Scout cookies
65. nail polish
66. Bunco
67. my husband is finding his jealous streak
68. meeting new people
69. all Carpenters songs
70. fantasizing about Paul Walker
71. dancing even though I can't
72. fresh batteries
73. my mother-in-law's City Chicken
74. laughing so hard it hurts
75. snow
76. my new sectional
77. non-uniform days
78. the smell of fresh cut grass
79. when things go as planned
80. surprises
81. commercials
82. Dove lemon grass and citrus body spray
83. making fun of oddly dressed people
84. riding on the boat at a leisurely pace
85. flip flops
86. not having to repeat myself
86. not having to repeat myself
87. screwing with telemarketers
88. using analogies
89. pictures my kids make me
90. talking on the phone to Mandi
91. cooking
92. taking pictures
93. when Avery brushes my hair
94. dancing with old farts
95. when Beau surprises me with greeting cards
96. stand up comedy
97. The fact that Danielle is in college
98. grilling hot dogs (and eating them)
99. shopping for myself
100. my friends
and these are some of my favorite blog entries that will tell you a bit more about me and my way of thinking....
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/03/thats-what-you-think.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/03/salt-and-jello.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/01/cold-white-sun.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2009/12/in-response-to-twelve-days-of-christmas.html
And in no particular order......
1. TV
2. my husband
3. chocolate
4. Avery's hair
5. DVR
6. 90 degree weather
7. songs that take me back
8. Snapped
9. painting the walls
10. brown
11. Queso Dip from El Nopal
12. euphoric episodes
13. wine
14. leftover Thanksgiving turkey w/Miracle Whip
15. the smell of the ocean
16. candles
17. my therapist
18. new clothes
19. lotion that smells good
20. newly pedicured piggies
21. Nancy Grace
22. Facebook
23. medical dramas
24. roller skating
25. a meticulously clean house
26. Mandi's witty rants
27. funny videos from Youtube
28. sitting on the front porch
29. good gossip
30. Bitchin'
31. rearranging the furniture
32. Reese's Cups
34. Blogging
35. the tabloids
36. diagnosing what ails you
37. using big words
38. gas station cappuccino
39. my neighbors
40. UK Wildcats
41. Ellen
42. reminiscing
43. the smell of a new baby's head
44. my Aunt Joyce's fudge
45. money
46. the news (local and national)
47. hot showers
48. enchiladas
49. my Mom
50. New View Bar
51. a good haircut
52. thinking I can sing Karaoke
53. looking at pictures
54. coffee
55. making things with the hot glue gun
56. an empty laundry basket
57. reading people's blogs
58. winning plants at church picnics
59. hatin' on SyFy
60. Avery's vocabulary
61. Gen X radio
62. tweezers
63. tulips
64. Girl Scout cookies
65. nail polish
66. Bunco
67. my husband is finding his jealous streak
68. meeting new people
69. all Carpenters songs
70. fantasizing about Paul Walker
71. dancing even though I can't
72. fresh batteries
73. my mother-in-law's City Chicken
74. laughing so hard it hurts
75. snow
76. my new sectional
77. non-uniform days
78. the smell of fresh cut grass
79. when things go as planned
80. surprises
81. commercials
82. Dove lemon grass and citrus body spray
83. making fun of oddly dressed people
84. riding on the boat at a leisurely pace
85. flip flops
86. not having to repeat myself
86. not having to repeat myself
87. screwing with telemarketers
88. using analogies
89. pictures my kids make me
90. talking on the phone to Mandi
91. cooking
92. taking pictures
93. when Avery brushes my hair
94. dancing with old farts
95. when Beau surprises me with greeting cards
96. stand up comedy
97. The fact that Danielle is in college
98. grilling hot dogs (and eating them)
99. shopping for myself
100. my friends
and these are some of my favorite blog entries that will tell you a bit more about me and my way of thinking....
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/03/thats-what-you-think.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/03/salt-and-jello.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/01/cold-white-sun.html
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2009/12/in-response-to-twelve-days-of-christmas.html
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Red Carpet 2 of 2
2 of 2
I recently received a blogger award and in accordance with the terms of said award I need to pass the award onto some bloggers that I have recently found. Actually, I have been reading a few of them for some time now and can't wait for the next entry but in order to have the required 15 I have had to do a lot of reading. I am really picky about what I read and I have literally gone through hundreds of blogs to do this. I am glad I did. I have found a lot of really great blogs from informational to downright hilarious that I am now following. So congratulations to the following bloggers for peaking my interest, keeping it there and having a soothing font for my squinty eyes!
1 of 2
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-could-get-used-to-red-carpet.html
The rules...
1. Thank the person who gave you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic! (in no particular order...)
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
I recently received a blogger award and in accordance with the terms of said award I need to pass the award onto some bloggers that I have recently found. Actually, I have been reading a few of them for some time now and can't wait for the next entry but in order to have the required 15 I have had to do a lot of reading. I am really picky about what I read and I have literally gone through hundreds of blogs to do this. I am glad I did. I have found a lot of really great blogs from informational to downright hilarious that I am now following. So congratulations to the following bloggers for peaking my interest, keeping it there and having a soothing font for my squinty eyes!
1 of 2
http://dailylifewithbipolar.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-could-get-used-to-red-carpet.html
The rules...
1. Thank the person who gave you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic! (in no particular order...)
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
- http://www.thebipolardiva.com
- http://stolensentiments.blogspot.com
- http://wrenchedbrain.blogspot.com
- http://thechroniclesofahousewife.blogspot.com
- http://chronicimpendingdisaster.blogspot.com
- http://imbound.blogspot.com
- http://imherebecauseiturnedright.blogspot.com
- http://mylifeinwords-stacy.blogspot.com
- http://charmed-charmedimsure.blogspot.com
- http://mommylite.blogspot.com/
- http://www.bipolarblog-livingwild.com
- http://inthelifeofdaved.blogspot.com
- http://colebuzan.blogspot.com
- http://greta130.blogspot.com
- http://organicmeatbag.blogspot.com
Monday, May 24, 2010
Hairy Flood
Besides the house being tore to shreds from the weekend, I had to battle with Danielle once again. Same argument, different day. We have a volatile relationship. So hot/cold. And there are three things we are currently arguing about. Petty yes, but it is my house, my rules. 1. Pick up your hair. I shouldn't have to be responsible for your shedding. The exact reason I will never have a pet. 2. Clean your spit and toothpaste/hair mixture out of my sink. 3. Your music should not be louder than the TV from a room and a hall away with the door shut. That is pretty easy, right? Free rent, free water, free heat, free food. At 17 I was paying my Dad board. Of course, it was only $20 per week but I was also only making $3.50 an hour at Druthers. And it was only for a few months but it is the principal of the thing. Her latest act that sent me into a tailspin, you ask? She left the bathroom in a state. And I am not talking the mouthwash left on the counter or a towel on the floor. I am talking water of mass proportions. After her shower she proceeds to flop herself down on the bed and Google or Myspace or Limewire or whatever it is that she is into like she was oblivious that she just caused a typhoon. I walked to the basement to switch the laundry only to find the wooden beams above my head holding up the bathroom were saturated and an 8 x 8 area of the floor surrounding the washing machine was drenched. Not to mention the washer and the electric outlet the washer is plugged into. If I had to take a wild guess I would say about 12 gallons of water seeped through the bathroom floor to the basement. I cannot even fathom what she could have been doing to dump that much water other than purposely dumping that much water. This is not a careless 12 year old or a bathtub full of toddlers wielding a handful of Barbies. This is my adult child. Or child adult? I can't figure it out. She gets me so aggravated sometimes I can feel the blood pumping in my veins. I am beginning to think that she derives some sense of pleasure from my agony. There is never a school chair around when you need one!
If that wasn't enough, my dishwasher full of dishes stopped pumping today so I had to stand and wash them all by hand. I know, Oh woe is me. Beau has my kitchen ripped apart right now. It looked like there was something stuck in this little tiny hole on this pump thingy. I really hope he fixes it because I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and so not looking forward to cleaning up that mess.
I will watch the Premiere of the Bachelorette and that will make things all better. One chick, twenty-five guys...I can't top that drama!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)