$h!t I Won't Buy

I have found a new obsession!  I wish it were the treadmill or the need to beat that silly, beady-headed boy on Wii Fit that thinks he is being inspirational when he says, "C'mon" waving at me like he knows I can do it, it is not.  You suck donkey balls you little, taunting avatar!  It is blogging. Or more specifically, reading them.  It has even diminished my professional facebooking abilities.  I can't stop looking for and reading new blogs.  I even concluded that I would stop playing my facebook games in exchange for more blog time.  There are some I really, really like and I even get a bit disappointed where there is no new entry today.

Everyday, I find out something new.  Apparently, there is money in blogging and it comes in the form of advertising, product reviews and the like.  So I get to thinking...hmmm.  Could I write a product review?  Perhaps.  I think, who would I appeal to?  Who is my audience?  Who would want a loon to endorse their product?  Prozac?  One never knows.  Then my manic brain goes racing in a different direction. I can't come up with a list of things I would like to review, however, there are some I wouldn't want to.  Below is my thought bubble in list form.

1. Magnesium Citrate.  Negative.  I like structure and planning so I have no desire to take an unscheduled, spontaneous shit.
2. Generic mayonnaise.  I have tasted it once.  There is nothing good that I can say about the lumpy, white, lemon, vinegar slop.  I could never condone contaminating a good piece of ham.
3. Charmin.  I am not a fan of lint balls and I wouldn't blow my nose with the dryer vent so why would I want to cram this fluffy, fuzz in my nostrils?
4. Viagra.  I would lose contact with a lot of my female friends this way.  You know how it is when your friend enters a new relationship?  Well, this would be the same concept.
5. Those Tampons with no strings or applicators.  Gross.  Need I elaborate?

And this has been another fascinating segment of "Shit I won't buy"!