Rambling Spaghetti

My brain is thinking faster than my fingers can type tonight.  My brain is a colossal mess of spaghetti.  To add insult to injury, I am pretty sure I am rapid cycling because I was so tired earlier today and nothing I did would provoke an ounce of enthusiasm.  It was an exaggerated state of "blah".  This is such a confusing time.  It seems to be getting easier to deal with because I have been having this type of episode a lot lately.  I guess I am getting used to it.  My sleep patterns are also a mess.  I stayed up way too late last night causing me to pass out on the couch in the middle of the day and here I am awake at 1:00 AM.  A vicious cycle.  A sure-fire way to crash in the making.  There appears to be a direct link between my sleep and my mood.  I guess this would ring true for anyone, though.  I am sure "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" is not exclusive to people with BPD.  I hope this down cycle is very temporary.  I cannot understand it's timing either.  I have nothing going on in my life that is particularly stressful or upsetting.  It has been sunny everyday.  The thing about BPD is you just can't ever count on it.  


I don't really have anything to write about but I feel like I need to write.  This would just turn into a ramble session.  I think it better to spare you.  Hopefully, tomorrow my thoughts will be more organized.