Today has been most productive. I conquered the laundry. That is a great feat when you have about 55 mothers up in here throwing their shit on the floor like they are a guest at the Ritz. Things that go on at other hotels don't go on at the Regent Donda Wilshire! I usually sneak up on the pile for fear that a horde of Ninjas are going to pummel my ass with their nun-chucks and Ginsu knives!
Hopefully, tomorrow will be another productive day. I plan to start working in the yard, try to make some headway on the flower beds. If you know me then you would know I would rather have my toenails pulled out with pliers than do yard work. I absolutely hate the feel of dirt! At least I will have a nice day for it...maybe get a spot of sun.
Watching the news today, I saw so many news stories that disturbed me, made me laugh, or otherwise provoked some type of reaction. I will share my thoughts on some current events. This just in.....
Some members of a Texas high school cheerleading squad added urine to some of their teammates sodas.
OK, first off, that is just nasty you little, plastic hookers! I think you misunderstood, "Give me a "P"!! Why can't teenage girls just get along? Ya know....I'd like to buy the World a Coke and keep it company. Because you sure can't leave it unattended!
Two doctors in North Carolina performed a C-Section on a woman that was not even pregnant. They acted on information received from an attending regarding the woman's pregnancy.
I am no effin' doctor but wouldn't you see that a pregnant woman has an elevated HCG level? Even a 15-year old can read an EPT. The Doctors involved received a "letter of concern". What the hell did it say? "Congratulations! You made the cut. You are now ready to extract a real baby.".
Nike has released their first TV ad since the Tiger Woods/lotsa whores scandal broke. The commercial was made using comments made by Tiger's late father to make it appear as if he is reprimanding his boy for his recent bad behavior.
It is most disturbing taking your dead Father's words out of context and using them for your own personal gain. Besides, how does that appeal to Nike patrons? I would think it would just make people realize they DO have "Daddy issues". If it were my ad it would go something like this: "Nike. When you have to outrun your demons". Do you know how many shady mother fuckers are running to the Foot Locker. I can hear the cash register chiming. Crackwhores, dope dealers, cheating spouses, you name it! Cha-Ching!
Portion sizes have increased in "Last Supper" paintings. Fifty-two of the most famous paintings were analyzed using a computer program. The main course size increased by 69%, plate size by 66% and loaves of bread by 23% over the past 1,000 years.
I wonder if Jamie Oliver is going to try to save Jesus? How many points is that bread anyway? Heavens to Betsy! Kirstie, don't lick the painting. Get your ass back on that Wii!
I agree.. Most of the world is screwed up. That's why I live in my own little bubble. Everyone outside isn't as cool as I am.. In my world I can spank kids and shoot geese that crap on my lawn cause I am KING!
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