Road Rage and the Pearly Whites Heist

Today was a busy day for the most part.  This Holiday weekend is going to be jam-packed full of events.  Almost as laborious as Christmas.  Friday night we will be hosting a sleepover for Haylee's Birthday.  Her Birthday is actually Saturday but Easter being Sunday we will have to hold the bash the night before.  Saturday will be the quadruple Birthday party for Haylee, my Father-in-law, Flip, and my two nephews, Theo and Gabe.  Beau's sister will be coming in from Ohio.  And of course, Easter Sunday.  Two dinners and two egg hunts.  In order to get through the hustle and bustle of this weekend, I have prepared a girls' night of sorts.  Mandi, Jennifer, Sarah and myself will be sipping wine, eating cheese and having some laughs while the Birthday girl and her many guests tend to the crafts, movies and music that I have planned for them.  There will be a lot of pink balloons and estrogen up in here.  I highly recommend that Beau and Alex find someplace else to be for the night.


Mandi and I went shopping for party items and Easter Bunny loot.  First, we hit Hobby Lobby.  On our way there Mandi experienced a bout of road rage.  Mandi is a speed demon by nature so impede her path to any destination and every fault that you have will be exposed.  She howled something to the effect of, "Stupid Fuckerface, you couldn't go any slower?  You Fatass!  That is why you go so slow! I could have made that!  Go get a Big Mac Dumbass!".  Anyhow, we made it safely into the parking lot. There is so much to look at.  So many treasures.  I could live and die in that place.  I picked up some supplies for the craft projects.  The clerk ringing me out needed a serious attitude adjustment.  I thought she had charged me $2.99 for a .67 item.  I asked, "What did you just ring up?".  Of course, I was going to ask.  That looked like a 300% mark up!  Not in this economy, Lady!  Apparently, she is one of those unruly teenagers that do not like to be questioned because she got a little snippy with me.  It was too damn early in the morning for that nonsense.  


Next, we went to the Dollar Tree.  Another place I really like.  Sometimes quantity IS better than quality.  More party favors, streamers and the like.  I also picked up some random crap to throw in the Easter baskets as fillers.  


Next stop, El Nopal better known as "mucho chippos".  We always eat so many chips before our order comes that we can barely eat the meal.  Can I get a to-go box?  At one point, the waiter asked us if everything was OK and Mandi perked up and much too enthusiastically said, OH YEAH!  Big Ol' Kool-Aid!  Simmer down, Mandi!


Last stop Wal-Mart, more Easter crap, more party crap.  It is just way too easy to impulse shop at Wal-Mart.  I always end up leaving out with way more than I had ever intended.  How do they do that?  It must be how they strategically place crap I don't need but will surely pick up directly in front of my basket.  I am beginning to think the wheels lock and time freezes until the unneeded item lands carefully in my cart.  Nice try.  I am on to your marketing scheme!!  A funny conversation I overheard:  A sweet little old lady was toting in her cart  what I assume was her was her Grandson.  He looked to be about five.  He pointed to a poster and said, "Look it's Justin Bieber!".  The woman in her feeble voice replied, "Yeah, they sure do make that Johnny Depp look good!". Not sure how she got that out of that but it was so cute.  Perhaps, time to adjust the Beltone but cute none the less!


I got Haylee's gifts wrapped and let the girls fill the treat bags.  At least that part is done.  


I have been mostly useless for the later part of the evening.  I have made coffee (which is probably a colossal mistake at almost 9:00 pm) and am hoping I get a second wind because there is quite a bit more I would have liked to accomplish today.  


Avery lost her second tooth and for the second time she has tried to swindle me.  Both times she has reported having been rewarded more money than the Tooth Fairy has actually left her.  This time she was left with $2.00 in exchange for the little jewel.  And this time she shows me an extra 40 cents.  So with the brilliant idea from my friend, Monica, I confront her.  I tell her that the Tooth Fairy just called to tell me that she only left Avery two dollar bills.  Just a side note, this is highway robbery!  I think I only got a quarter or some crap like that.  Of course, back in the day that would score you a few packs of Now and Laters or a giant freeze pop.  Avery's response was and I quote, "Really?  Really?  You better call her back.  Call her back right now! She needs to check that list.  She gave me green dollars and silver quarters!"  Bernie Madoff meet Avery Flores!


Tomorrow....more of the same.