Cali, Perez and other Stupid Bitches!!!!

I am currently in the middle of a "mixed episode". What does this mean, you ask? Well, there is a technical medical definition. But, for me, it means I am seriously agitated and tend to say things that provoke a response. Very combative. However, I do not have the energy for a full on confrontation. I don't even have the energy to talk. My brain is non-stop with it's fleeting thoughts. Last night I even thought about how many thoughts I have per second. If that clears it up for you. I cannot sleep but I am exhausted. It is a catch 22 in it's worst form. I have absolutely nothing to talk about because I have done absolutely nothing to talk about. I did make the best chili ever for dinner. I must say I am the best cook this side of....Everywhere! I know what you are thinking, Grandiose behavior...not...this is actually true...ask anyone! The whole purpose of the chili was to hopefully coax me "up" a little. Spicy food works when you have a sinus infection so I thought, hey, why not this! I can't see that has much effect but it sure was tasty!

I do need to talk about my husband, Beau, whom is always supportive when I have a crash. I am not that high maintenance when I am in a mania, it is just the depression part of of the illness I seem to need help with. It does usually take him a few days to realize I am not just having a bad day but that I am in a downward spiral. By that time, I am down. It is more confusing when I am up and down at the same time. But, as soon as he gets it, he takes the reigns. He takes on more responsibility where the kids are concerned. He takes on the domestic responsibilities of running a household and he does this knowing there are no accolades. Sometimes, I remember to say thank you but for the most part I am just too blue to utter the words. But I am thankful he knows, thankful he understands my illness. As it has taken me a very long time to understand it myself.

It seems like bad things happen in threes...so, my tire is flat, my dryer is making a crazy noise and I have no water pressure in my master bath sink. I don't know what is going on. If this is as bad as it is going to get then I am grateful!

In other news, laying on the couch staring at HLN aimlessly you absorb a lot of useless trivia. First off, How is it that Perez Hilton was even allowed to ask that question? I mean the question concerning gay marriage that he proposed to Ms. California. She was obviously not prepared to answer it and did a poor job. I could have found a better response on the fly! But I firmly believe that his question was only to provoke a reaction from the American Viewers. I think he could give two shits what her answer was! The national media attention that this has brought to his webcast is invaluable! Do you know how many people would be reading my blog daily if I had my fifteen minutes of fame? I suspect you will be seeing him in the timeslot directly following "Rock of Love"! And as for Ms. Cali, the only thing that anyone will ever remember about her is that she was the one with "the question". However, this should be nice springboard for her career!

Also, When will Nancy Grace stop talking about the Casey Anthony Case? I admit I have followed that story from day one and have even tried to call into her show to voice my opinion on many occasions but isn't there some other child she should be searching for? After all, isn't she the poster child for child advocates?

Lastly, is anyone really that interested in the Ocotmom? Seriously? So, she had eight babies at the same time....big deal. She is boring, she brings nothing new and she is no more mentally or emotionally unstable than anyone I know, including me. In addition, she talks so damned slowly! In her defense, she probably can't help it beings that her face is all hemmed up! Give me a reality show, I will be crackin' Yalls' ass up!

I have made myself make this entry tonight! I know that this will not work for the purpose for which it was created if I only write when I am level or manic. I must also write about the lows.
Perhaps, this has been more therapeutic than I would have imagined, and you may have gained some insight about how this disorder affects everyday folks.